lm this is childish do you not see how much i smile just looking at you i love being with you
but youre just so consumed
Youre not as accepting of your hurt
You have a stong front but a weak interior
Certain things you hide that i see and understand my very own self
The pain laying deep inside
Im emotionally and mentally insane youre right
I already think that i just tried to believe its not true
Now i truely feel like i should see that is
You see
Im messed up and things stick questions always left unanswered in the back of my head
Constantly coming back day by day
Im afraid of loosing you
Thought you understood and listened to me
Now i see my mind is taking control over me honestly just be straight up with me
Tell me what i need to be told
Why do i care so much about you
Is it the fear of being abandonded by you
I honetly dont know
Hope my dumbass doesnt read this to you
Can i not share things with you im openly honest with you never once lied to you
Just hear me out and ill hear you out too of that i swear
Seems te be i just feel like theres something severely wrong with me for thinking certain things
All because of curiousity
I also wonder why i feel like i dont trust you but i don't just assume certaing things
You on the phone with that girl when i came into the room i felt like i dif something to deserve you to hurt me
Everything i have said to you is true
Im sorry for everything i did
Will you please just tell me whats upsetting you
So i can try to change the things played out to be wrong in your views
I feel to like you're cheating on me
It scares me am i not paying enough attention to you
But how can i prove to you im 100% real with you i would
These past thoughts left me stranded bringing back memories and feelings of feeling left once again giving up on because of a misconception
Im hurt
Alone
Left feeling judged
Sorry
And dirty
For starting to have true feelings for you
Im messed up yes your right
Will you tell me what's wrong with me
Been trying to figure some things out
Why am i not feeling numb anymore
Actually crying in front of you
Not the bull shit fake cry that means truely nothing
This is something getting me fucked up over time
Will you give up on me to
I tried not to care about you
You dont work like that
Putting every person in the friend zone
Pretenging to be not so hurt because im not looking for excused or a sorry pitty party to look upon
Im trying to understand what i can do to be you're everything to
Caring about you becuase i accept your reason for the way you mind was taught how to think
Im scared of being abandoned by you i tried not to pretend there wasnt anything bothering you
But i couldn't take it anymore i want to know what you thinks wrong with me specifically...
Can you just not tell me how you feel regaurdless of how i react
Sorry you think im pretending with you
Just seem to hurt to keep pretending not to care or acknowledge how i feel scared because i care about you
Youre mosconspetions arent always true i promise you i will try to be everything to you
End up feeling denied by you